


timber

by aerynlallaboso



Category: Naruto
Genre: (dont look at me), (mostly the former pairing.), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2693198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerynlallaboso/pseuds/aerynlallaboso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't you want to pick up where we left off?" the clone asks, raising its hand to rub the back of it on Yamato's cheek. "You were having fun last time, if I recall correctly."</p>
            </blockquote>





	timber

**Author's Note:**

> so i haven't managed to finish anything else i wanted to do this week, but i've finished this. enjoy.
> 
> (as before, any inaccuracies are totally artistic liberty)

There is an unwritten law among ninja, known by everyone from academy students to ANBU members: never have sex with your own clone.

There are many reasons why this rule exists: a lot of people are made uncomfortable, for example, by the idea of having sex with themselves. Those that aren't rarely have the ability to create (and sustain) a tangible clone that can stand up to the physical exertions usually involved in such matters; over the years, quite a lot of lonely chuunin have attempted to break the taboo, but all found themselves thoroughly unsatisfied and covered in water/dirt/whatever the clone was made of after it disappeared before they could even get to the good part.

In the first place, this rule was coined by Tobirama Senju, inventor of the shadow clone jutsu and refiner of a number of other clone jutsus - including his brother's wood clones, through careful supervision and instruction - after a heavily classified experiment involving three water clones (set up mainly because Tobirama was bored). A further classified experiment, this time conducted by Hashirama (alone), bore out the interesting side effect Tobirama had observed in his clones, one not able to be controlled by the average shinobi. 

The First Hokage, of course, was not an average shinobi, and there are rumours to this day that he negated said side effect and broke the unwritten law a time or two before (and after) his marriage, although nobody would ever voice them aloud.

Which could explain why Yamato, who rarely breaks written laws, let alone unwritten ones, managed to break this one twice.

~

He first realises something is wrong (very, very wrong) when he creates a wood clone to scout out the area before they move on and the clone's immediate action upon growing into being is to try and kiss him.

"What are you doing?!" Yamato hisses at it. He looks around swiftly to make sure none of the team are nearby - they're a little way off, talking amongst themselves and trusting him to take care of his task. Which he has, technically, it's just that-

The clone reaches for him again. He shoves it back. It smirks at him in a rather disturbing fashion, reminiscent of the other clone, the one from the alley. 

Wait.

"Don't you want to pick up where we left off?" the clone asks, raising its hand to rub the back of it on Yamato's cheek. "You were having fun last time, if I recall correctly."

Yamato twists away from the touch by reflex to stare at it in disbelief. That's not _possible_ \- "How can you be the same clone?" He tries to think frantically how long it's been since he last created a wood clone: a month? Two? Actually, he hasn't needed to use anything more than simple wooden dummies since his - indiscretion in the alley.

But still. That's not how wood clones work. They do their jobs and disappear/get repurposed and they certainly do not retain memories from their previous 'lives'. Do they?

This clone sure seems to remember _something_ , though, by the way it's looking at him. "Come on," it says. "Everyone else is over there, we're over here. Five minutes."

" _No_ ," Yamato says, rather horrified by the part of him springing up to say 'yes, please'. He points in the direction of the few square kilometres he's (hopefully) still planning for the clone to investigate. "Look, go and scout out the area and report back to me with any potential threats or points of interest. That's what I created you for."

The clone pouts. It _really_ pouts. Yamato had no idea he could stick his bottom lip out that far. He glares back at it and points again. "Go," he says firmly. "Don't come back until you've properly checked out the entire area."

It doesn't move.

Yamato locks eyes with it, staring straight into those unnervingly familiar black holes.

"Fine," the clone says, and grins at him. "I'll be back later."

~

To its credit, the clone definitely keeps its word.

It doesn't reappear until far later in the evening, long after sending word to Yamato and the rest of team that their path ahead is clear of anything remotely interesting. The sun is beginning to set, and a light rain starts to fall, so Kakashi has him set up the usual cabin - it's more tiring than usual, being without the amount of chakra he'd funnelled into the clone.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asks him with an odd look as the rest of the team rushes in to claim their rooms. Yamato smiles and nods and discreetly attempts to release the clone jutsu again. It doesn't work.

After a brief meeting to discuss tomorrow's plan of action, they all retire to grab a few hours sleep, although Yamato doubts he'll truly manage to sleep. He's worried about the clone. Not its wellbeing - even if it has been gone far longer than it should've been - but why exactly it's still in the same 'state' it was two months ago.

There wasn't anything about this in the technique scrolls the First Hokage left behind, he thinks ruefully as he settles down to rest with his back against the wall.

Something rustles outside the window.

By reflex, Yamato jumps to his feet, draws a kunai and sends it flying towards the sound, where it thuds into the wood of the windowsill inches from the clone's face.

It doesn't even flinch; simply smiles at him. "Can't sleep?"

"Where have you been?"

"Scouting," the clone says, moving towards him and standing to attention. "As per your orders. It'll be safe to proceed once you've all rested." It stares at him. "You knew where I was. You could sense my chakra this whole time."

Yamato doesn't want to tell it he's been ignoring said chakra since it left, in the vague hopes that it might find something dangerous and get hit hard enough to disappear and he wouldn't have to deal with it right now when he's trying to get some rest. Though, in the end, he supposes he's going to have to deal with why his clone is acting like this sometime. Or never make another wood clone again.

Instead, he shrugs. The clone doesn't look satisfied - it _is_ him, after all - but apparently isn't interested in pushing him further. It folds its arms and looks at him, and asks, "What now?"

Yamato says, "Now, I release the jutsu," and moves to do just that.

"Hey!" the clone exclaims, starting forward. "I did what you asked. Everybody else is probably asleep right now, so we've got some time alone-"

Yamato shoots it an incredulous look, his hands getting closer and closer together to perform the sign - and then the clone is in his personal space, crowding in on him like back in the alley. 

"I could make you disappear right now," he tells it, once more horrified to find his breath hitching at its proximity. 

It shakes its head and says, "You know you won't," with its eyes fixed on his lips, and as much as Yamato should be asking it why it still remembers what happened to it last time and _why_ it keeps to trying to jump him every time it sees him, he gets the terrible feeling that it's likely as much in the dark as he is.

So, quietly wondering when exactly this became commonplace to him (or when, exactly, he lost all his common sense), Yamato decides to give up and pre-emptively tongues his way into the clone's mouth, snaking an arm around its waist to pull it towards him. It moans in delight; he breaks off to press a finger to its lips. "Somebody could hear us," he whispers to it.

The clone licks his finger. 

He frowns at it and replaces the finger with his mouth, kissing it again and again until it's panting against him, dragging his hands up its chest to shove it to the wall on the other side of the room, stumbling forwards while it pulls up his shirt at the back. It feels good to have more control than the first time; the clone seems to like what he's doing, too.

"Hold on," it murmurs, and pushes him away so it can help him get his shirt over his head. Yamato tosses it away to land somewhere in the vicinity of his flak jacket, slipping off his forehead protector too. He turns back to kiss the clone some more and really, it's wearing far more clothing than necessary all of a sudden. He tries to remove some, but it stubbornly refuses to move for a reason that has entirely fled his brain (taken up with the best angle to press his hips into the clone's).

The clone notices his dilemma and leans in to remind him, between heated kisses, that the only way for it to get its clothes off is for him, the technique user, to alter its form by touching it (though Yamato thinks the 'touch me' whispered in his ear is a little much). He summons some chakra through his fingertips and after a shivery noise from the clone, it's as naked as the very first night he created it and very, very hard.

Taking advantage of his sudden halt, the clone surges forward and attempts to flip their positions. It only succeeds, however, in throwing him off-balance, sending them both toppling to the floor; Yamato makes an embarrassingly loud noise as his shoulder hits the ground. The clone just laughs and crawls up to run its tongue along his collarbone, extracting more low moans from him as it licks and kisses slowly down his body. 

"So," it says conversationally when it reaches his groin and begins to tug down his waistband. "Finally you get to suck yourself, mmm?"

Yamato pulls his head up to stare at it and opens his mouth to vehemently protest ever having that particular fantasy, but then his pants are down and the clone's lips are around his cock and he is _gone_. Another groan escapes his mouth; the clone laughs again and the vibrations send a shudder up his spine. "I thought you were the one worried about being loud," it says, pausing.

"Shut up," Yamato informs it. He trails off into a gasp as it resumes its work, sucking and licking in long, languid strokes while it digs its fingers into his hips and hums in place of a giggle when they jerk up into its mouth. Its lack of real need to breathe gives it an advantage in this kind of situation, he guesses amongst the many stray thoughts flitting through his head. Which probably means all the heavy breathing it's been doing is for his benefit.

The thought of the clone panting purely for him, as surreal as it is, is what tips him over the edge (along with its tongue and its hands and its breath hot against his skin) and he comes after only a little more prompting. The clone rocks back onto its knees, swallowing and licking its lips, then rocks forward again to slump onto his chest.

They stay like that for a good minute or so, before Yamato starts to feel odd about kinda sorta _snuggling_ with his own clone. There's also the matter of its unattended erection pressing into his hip - though the clone doesn't appear to be in a hurry. It raises its head and Yamato kisses it softly, then deeper, sucking on its bottom lip and drawing a small, sweet noise from its throat.

As (mis)fortune would have it, it is at that moment that the door opens.

"Uh," Kakashi says, staring dumbfounded at the scene before him. "Am I - am I interrupting something?"

The clone and Yamato, lips still locked together, stare back at him.

A long, long silence ensues before the clone pulls out of Yamato's grasp to say firmly, "Yes, you are."

Yamato's fairly sure Kakashi's jaw just dropped under his mask. "Um," he says hurriedly, trying to think of how to explain this whole bizarre affair in as few words as possible. "No, we were - I was just - this clone is-"

"Not interested in sharing," the clone finishes. Its arm curls further around Yamato's waist and he swallows involuntarily. The tiny movement does not escape Kakashi's notice, from the way his visible eye widens and - honestly, Yamato very much wants to release the clone and disappear along with it at this point.

Kakashi shrugs and enters the room fully, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it nonchalantly. "Okay," he says. "Don't let me stop you."

Oh.

The clone directs a raised eyebrow towards him, but it's kissing Yamato again before he can get his own response out, guiding his hands downwards. He goes with it; it throws its head back and moans as soon as he touches it, and Yamato hears Kakashi murmuring "So that's who was making those noises," with interest.

"Actually, that was him," the clone replies before returning to incoherence when Yamato wraps his fingers around its cock. He sneaks a look at Kakashi (whose eyes are even wider and fixed on him now), flushes and turns his attention back to the clone to kiss up its neck as he works. It groans, pushing towards him, so Yamato fists his other hand into its hair to drag its head back and allow himself more room to bring it to a climax, which it reaches - loudly - and crashes its mouth back into his hotly.

(Yamato glances down when it ends the kiss and solves a mystery he'd pondered two months ago: the warmth on his hand is dark and its texture is oddly similar to pulped wood. He returns his gaze to the clone's and tries not to think too hard about it.)

A sound reaches him from the door - Kakashi clearing his throat to ask, "Can I help with you?"

The clone makes a muffled noise from where its head is now resting against Yamato's chest. It's probably a 'no' (and a further 'I already did that' and perhaps even a 'better than you could') but Yamato's damned if he's going to let this opportunity get past him when he's already naked and Kakashi's already seen him having sex with his own clone, so - "Yes, please," he says.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see the clone pouting some more as he stands shakily to meet Kakashi halfway to the door, kissing him before the mask is even properly down. Kakashi's height and leaner body are deliciously welcome variety from the clone's very familiar build; it doesn't take more than five minutes of grinding and groping for another shirt to hit the floor so they're skin-on-skin. Yamato gasps once, and then again when the clone (evidently feeling left out) slides its arms around him from behind.

He's surrounded now on all sides by heat and bare skin; Kakashi covering his mouth with kisses and the clone doing the same for his neck, nipping and licking at the tender skin. He thinks he sees it glaring jealous daggers at Kakashi over his shoulder for some short interval, and Kakashi returning the scowl with a smile that he then presses to Yamato's lips. It's absurd. And also kind of a turn-on. (Even more so when Kakashi misses him, probably on purpose, and collides with the clone in a far rougher kiss than any he's given Yamato.. It's mesmerising to _see_ himself react, even from this angle, kissing back and biting down. He can taste the blood on Kakashi's tongue when he turns his attention back to him.)

Leaning back, Yamato closes his eyes and lets the glorious sensations of two sets of able fingers and Kakashi's body shifting against his (and the clone whispering "Come for me", making him shiver) take over. He orgasms only when he is completely out of breath, held up between the other two as he regains it.

When he does, and they separate, the clone heaves a huge sigh and says, "Alright, I'm done."

Just like last time, Yamato thinks. Although looking at the clone now, it's not quite the same as it was then - its eyes are still darting all over to stare at various parts of his body. And Kakashi's, for all that it seems to dislike him. "Really?"

"Yeah," the clone says, then hesitates before shrugging and stepping in to grab Yamato for another quick kiss before he can make the release sign. It's smiling when it steps back. "See you next time."

Yamato glares at it. "There's not going to be a next time," he says, and makes the sign.

"That's what you thought last time," the clone says smugly just before it disappears, leaving the room a little less crowded and a lot quieter, somehow.

"Last time?" Kakashi queries after a brief silence.

Yamato grabs a shirt from the floor and throws it at his head. "We are never talking about this again," he says, putting his hands on his hips for emphasis (although he supposes being naked ruins the effect somewhat). " _Ever_."

Besides, he realises, retrieving his own shirt, he still doesn't know what triggered 'this' in the first place. Maybe - maybe it's time to brush up on his water clone jutsu.


End file.
